my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
