i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
