Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
