I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
the day after is always just damage control
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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