I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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