okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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