I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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