I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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