covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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