i barfeds in our rink
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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