Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
