If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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