wakey wakey hands off snakey
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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