We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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