he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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