You're a womanizer and a bitch.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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