Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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