Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
