i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
