he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
