i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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