I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
