HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize