she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize