"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Vodka?
Forever.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
