So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
