just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize