Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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