We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
