he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
