I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize