She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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