No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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