I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
