we're chasing vodka with high fives
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
