You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize