we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
