If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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