Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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