I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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