He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
