belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I came so hard my ears popped.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
