Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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