Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
