i was born a porn star she said
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
