I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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