You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I yelled at your uterus for you.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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