I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
