carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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