Barsexuality is the new black.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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