1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I got chris browned last night
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
