batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
