The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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