i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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