I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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