Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
